


Lightwood Came To Win!

by LadyMatt



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, At least Alec is, Club Owner Magnus Bane, Competing for a shot with Magnus, Crowd pleasing Malec, F/M, Halloween Costumes, Halloween Party At Pandemonium, Hosting Competition Night, Innuendo, M/M, Malec on the mic, Oh and a talking dick, POV Alec Lightwood, Puns & Word Play, Sexual Humor, Thirsty Alec Lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16372361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyMatt/pseuds/LadyMatt
Summary: When Pandemonium hosts a Halloween Party for all the geeks and freaks of Brooklyn that leaves Alec tipsy and turned on, the competitive Lightwood spirit is triggered when he sees an opportunity for winning the best prize of all - a wickedly hot bite out of Magnus Freaking Bane!





	Lightwood Came To Win!

**Author's Note:**

> This was a bid to oil my rusty writing joints and see if the old girl still had any juice! And about as last minute as you can get! Thanks, Britt, for telling me which of my ideas actually didn't suck! Hope you enjoy!
> 
> ;-))
> 
> Self beta'd, so sue me! XX

********

Although blissfully unaware of how the revolving multi-coloured lights of the packed out venue rendered his silky white outfit virtually transparent (except for a few face-saving ruffles and the odd gigantic bobble), Alec Lightwood still felt like a giant fool. Possibly because he was dressed as a giant Pierrot clown.

As a traitorous bead of sweat meandered its way down his back to collect in the elasticated waistband of his costume pants, Alec wondered for the millionth time that night how he’d ever let his siblings trick him into attending Pandemonium’s Halloween Party, let alone convince him to get up on stage and compete for the dubious honour of being crowned ‘The Best Dressed Hottest Mess.’

_*You know why, lover boy!*_

Staring out through whiskey-soaked eyes at the aggressive assortment of eligible voters dressed as fictional characters, fast food combos and furry animals, Alec felt the momentary rush of blood that had led him to fall in with his sister’s nefarious plans had upped and left in a fucking hurry, leaving him giddy with disbelief at being the centre of attention for once.

_*That was the point, wasn’t it, you idiot?*_

Stumbling back to avoid the ever-extending arms of the front row skater girl who was making a fevered grab for the baggy hems of his trousers, he steadied himself against the giant speaker that had him trapped in this suspect line-up of finalists, mumbling an apology to the bearded Jessica Rabbit on his left whose rapidly deflating bust had decided to part ways at the waist. Perturbed by the ‘lady’s’ suggestive wink, Alec was seriously considering crowd surfing all the way to the exit when the pulsing music was abruptly replaced by a thunderous drum roll, a hush descending as all eyes, including eager hazel ones, turned to the stage area behind him where a lone spotlight framed the veiled silhouette of the Head Judge.

A filthy chuckle, amplified to perfection, rippled loudly through the right side of his body before his bones were melted by the booming sound of promised heat. ‘Well, my gorgeous girls and beautiful boys, it’s time for the final contest of the night! Are. You. Ready?’

An emphatic wave of cheers and howls proved they most certainly were. While he was most certainly not.

 _Fuck._ Stifling a groan at the aural foreplay that was _that_ voice, Alec guessed he had about 10 minutes to get his own under control before he’d come. Uh, face to face with Magnus.

_*Eyes on the prize, Lightwood!*_

Transfixed on the pair of white gloves slowly parting the shimmering divide that sealed off the V.I.P. area, Alec felt his heart jolt as the sexiest Ringmaster ever to host ANYTHING stepped out to the opening lines of Robbie’s ‘Let Me Entertain You’, receiving raucous approval from the clubbers-turned-rockstars eating up his theatrics, and an involuntary twitch or two from his biggest fan. Watching while the saucy bastard matched his patent leather-clad struts to the lyrical beat as he made his way to the front, Alec swore his eyeballs caught fire when the man raised his cane aloft with both hands to conduct the impromptu concert, revealing a mouth-watering expanse of muscled torso beneath the blood-red tailcoat that flattered every dip and curve of his broad shoulders and strong arms. The sparkling bow-tie and top hat were only eclipsed by the glittering red and black make-up that framed his beautiful eyes and lips. Lips that spoke directly to Alec’s very (virgin) soul.

_*Alec's got a ring you could master, Bane!*_

Unclenching his butt cheeks, one knotted muscle at a time, Alec closed his blacked-out eyes and focused on the last words Izzy had tried to burn into his mind an hour ago, having dragged him inside the (startled) ladies’ washroom and forced their way in front of the soap-smeared mirror.

~~~~~~~~~

‘This is your best chance at joining us in the Winners Lounge if Simon and I are crowned 'The Creepiest Couple Who Ever Died,’ she’d hissed through blue-tinged lips, as her hands ripped the sleeves from his tunic leaving only the cuffs in a frantic attempt to make him more desirable to the depraved electorate about to pass judgement on his ridiculous appearance, ‘and maybe your ONLY chance at getting laid by Magnus Freaking Bane!’

That had done the trick.

Fluffing up the ruffled collar of his tunic with shaky hands, as his sister reapplied the heart shaped lips and diamond eyes with black eyeliner, Alec had tried to imagine the nut busting reality of having the impossibly hot club owner beg for a chance to make him smile, only to be glared at by Izzy for scrunching up her masterpiece. So he’d taken a steadying breath, checking his matching silver tears were still intact and straightened the cone-shaped monstrosity strapped to his head, hoping Izzy’s last-minute adjustment would catch his fantasy man’s eye.

~~~~~~~~~

And sure enough, it had. Not 5 minutes after his sister’s easy victory.

Full of Dutch courage and brotherly pride as Emily, The Corpse Bride, and her jittery beau, Victor, had been whisked away to the hidden land of free drinks and priceless Bane-time, Alec had (lurched?) thrown himself into the mix for this contest when those breathtaking eyes had, UNBELIEVABLY, noticed his flailing arms from across the darkened room and granted his wish with a spine-tingling, ‘You!’ and a dick-tickling grin, before leaving to make yet another costume change, as he had for each competition so far.

Alec had swooned at the spectacle of Pharaoh Magnus when he’d awarded the first success of the night to Jace’s Harley Quinn and Clary’s Joker, proclaiming them, ‘The Sexiest Psychos Alive,’ which just about summed them up in Alec’s eyes, and he’d all but liquified at the sight of the biceps and buns displayed by Sailor Magnus, but this latest one was easily his favourite, even if it hadn’t included the whip on his hip.

_*Bet he gives, and takes, a good lashing though!*_

Alec gulped, finding himself hypnotised by the sultry sway of those gold-braided shoulders as they wound their way seductively towards him and feeling a brief twinge of sympathy for his fellow competitors as they struggled to remain coherent when questioned by Lust, himself. The Ringmaster’s queries weren’t hard or intended to trip them up, but they stumbled just the same, proving especially uncoordinated when asked what ‘special talent’ they could show the audience in hopes of gaining votes. The lukewarm applause was music to Alec’s ears.

Resisting the urge to wipe beads of sweat from his hairline for fear of ruining Izzy’s handiwork, he concentrated instead on gathering courage for showcasing his own ‘previously unseen’ ability that could either lose him a lifetime’s worth of dignity OR earn him a debauched debut that he could (and would) boast about for all eternity.

_*Better warm up your throat muscles, Romeo!*_

He cleared it loudly.

And suddenly he was there in front of him, bathing him in want as obsidian eyes, shining with pure devilment, slowly raked every inch of his shivering frame while a gloved hand burned a trail from the top of Alec’s thigh to the nape of his neck, where it began a caress that sent shockwaves straight to his groin.

‘My poor Pierrot,’ Magnus pouted, turning to the adoring crowd Alec had forgotten all about, ‘Is there anything I can do to make you smile again?’ Wolf whistles rang out as Magnus’ brows began to dance, but when he winked, Alec made his move.

With a grip only used by determined first-timers, Alec pushed down on Magnus’ shoulder until he fell on bended knee before him, taking the man by surprise, and the gasping crowd to a new level of crazy. Only when he’d done it, did he realise there was no microphone for what he wanted to do, except for the one curled along Magnus’ rather marvellous jawline. That would have to do.

Lifting a shaky finger to his heart-shaped lips, Alec dropped down onto the outstretched knee and waited for silence. His pulse racing as he held Magnus mesmerised with eyes full of steely hope, Alec leaned in close to his cheek….and starting to sing.

 

**‘I sit and wait, does an angel contemplate my fate?’**

Neither blinked.

**‘And do they know, the places where we go, when we’re grey and old?’**

Magnus’ smile triggered his own.

**‘Cause I have been told, that salvation lets their wings unfold..’**

Magnus joined in.

**‘So when I’m lying in my bed, thoughts running through my head and I feel the love is dead..’**

Then so did everyone else.

**‘I’M LOVING ANGELS INSTEAD!!!’**

 

And Magnus Freaking Bane _**kissed**_ him. Truly, madly, deeply, while the chorus rang out around them.

 

********

 

Coming up for air eventually, Alec stood, pulling a horny Magnus tight against his chest, to wild applause.

‘So am I the ‘Hottest Mess’ here?’ he rasped, hungrily.

Magnus growled. ‘Not yet, but you will be!’

 

The whole place erupted. 

 

_*Thank fuck, for THAT!*_

 

******** 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it raised a smile, folks!
> 
> ;-))
> 
> Kudos and comments are very much appreciated!  
> XX


End file.
